Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
