He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
