You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
