The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
