I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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