it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
