My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
