S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
