Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
