Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize