Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's official drugs can't kill me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
