I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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