my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
