I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
