Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
