The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
