I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think my moral compass just broke
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