Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
