So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
