Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
