Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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