they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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