as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
