I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
