Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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