I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My pussy is not your playground.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
