Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I have fence marks all over my body
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
