i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
