dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
