I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
