They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you never un-have a 4some
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
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