so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Panties = found
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
