Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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