This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
