By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
