So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
