yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
