It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
