I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
