can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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