how can u be prego again
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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