YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
