erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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