Fuck appropriateness.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
