What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
