Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am spending my child support on dildos
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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