I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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