I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
