Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
