Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
